This love reflection came to me after spending Valentine’s Day with my family. Valentine’s Day is one of my favorite holidays because it gives me another reason to express my love with those I care about.

Most people associate this holiday with romance—cards, gifts, dinner, chocolates, stuffed animals, and planned surprises exchanged between a couple, all to encompass love for one another. All of it wonderful. But to me, that’s not the only thing this holiday means. For me, it is a “LOVE” day that can be shared among friends, family, pets, and maybe just with YOURSELF!

I remember back when I was a teenager, how excited I was to share Valentine’s Day with a boyfriend. I felt so special being surprised with gifts and love notes. I also remember those times when I wasn’t dating anyone and felt a bit left out from the universe. During those times I would usually end up babysitting for my siblings while they celebrated their love with their spouses. I was happy to help them, but a part of me wanted what they had; that same kind of love. I had hoped that one day I would be part of that same group …married with children. I viewed happiness to mean that having a life partner, a soul mate, a companion, to share love and life with is what would ultimately bring me joy.

However, as I began to “grow up”, finding that soul mate for life was not at all easy. It wasn’t until I found myself that I discovered true love.

One day in my very early 20s, after a really bad break-up, I had an epiphany. The relationship I had been in for a few years ended because of my ex’s deep- rooted issues and my co-dependency. During this time of processing love and praying for guidance I came to realize that we both needed to work on our issues. I remember telling him, “I will never be able to make you happy if you are not happy with yourself.” I thought to myself, ‘Whoa, where did that come from?’ I believe God was speaking to me and was shedding light on what was going to be a life lesson. I knew after saying those words that I needed to practice what I preached. I needed to accept and love myself with my faults, learn from my mistakes, and move on with a better appreciation and understanding of life, love, and joy. I had to be confident in who I was and strong in knowing that I didn’t need a man in my life to have happiness. God helped me view life through a different lens and it all had to start with me. Thankfully, I was lucky to have been raised with a strong set of values and a strong safety net of family to support me when times became challenging.

After discovering a newer, happier, stronger me, cupid struck me with a love like no other. On Valentine’s Day weekend in 1997 I met the man I would share life’s most precious moments with. He is the love of my life, my husband of 16 years and the father of my children. I don’t believe our encounter would’ve ever happened if it weren’t for fate and the love and joy we already had within ourselves.

I think it will always be a work in progress to find what fills your heart with happiness and gratitude, but once you have it, it feels so wonderful and worth the hard work. I’m always working at it.

All the gifts in the world you may ever receive or want to receive Valentine’s Day won’t ever measure up to having love and joy within. I hope you have it and if you don’t, work on it, find it, hold onto it, and be grateful every day for it. Now that is what you celebrate on “LOVE” day and that is the gift you share with those you care about.

This quote by Rumi (13th century mystic poet) was recently posted on Facebook and perfectly states what I believe…

“Go find yourself first so you can also find me”

Sincerely,

Leticia